(Written by Viper, edited by Grand Admiral Newbie)

Page One

Just to keep you up to date:
A new beginning ...

Grand Admiral Newbie had just bought Homeworld, had ripped open the packaging and had installed the game. This was it, no longer would he play Super Mario Brothers on his Gameboy. He would enter the world of pc games. Casting the manual aside (he didn't need it, manuals are for idiots) he loaded the game. After playing one training mission, he managed to survive rotating the screen in sensor mode and watching some pretty explosions around his mothership. At this point he knew he was destined for greatness. Without further ado he went online, and stumbled upon Won.net whilst frantically clicking on everything. Grand Admiral Newbie knew that he would have to gain attention, and to do this required him gluing his Caps Lock key in place. Then his big letters would better convey his gems of wisdom. He had skipped past all the instructions about operating Won.net, because they were for old people and girls, not a smart computer-literate guy like himself.

But now he had a problem. Lots of weird stuff was going on and he didn't know what to do. The best way to find out was obviously to yell a question in full caps to the whole room. After asking 4 times in quick succession, no one had answered. Therefore the obvious next course of action was to click on everything possible. After 45 minutes he stumbled his way into a game, it said "Kushan players only" on the title. GAN wondered what that meant... After being asked if he was a Kushan 3 times, GAN thought he better find out what that was.

Making sure he had his caps lock key firmly pressed, he proceeded to enquire. Suddenly he had left the game and was back at the main lobby screen. Confusion set in, he rejoined the game and asked what "game dissolved" was. Only to find himself once again out of the game. This was odd. His newbie instincts took over once more, he returned to the game and attempted to open up a dialogue by using all the swear words and exclaimation marks he could. After 3 hours of such activity was his eagerness dulled? Of course not!

Finally he found himself actually playing against someone. This was good. He arrived in the game and was told his ping was 8 million ms and he had dropped more packets than was humanly possible. Packet? MS? what was going on? He made a note to phone the people at AOL and read the instruction manual for his 2600 baud modem. Once more he was confused as this time the game itself told him he was booted, and he found himself staring at his windows desktop. A week later GAN had talked to his friend who knew about online gaming, seeking advice. The next day, when his friend had finished laughing GAN was forced to spend $100 of his mom's money on a 33.6k modem as well as $500 to his friend to install it, well below the going rate he was told. Upon his return to Won.net GAN was intrigued by the list of names on the right of his screen, and wondered what they meant. He asked in his usual manner and got no response, he didn't know if people could see his text so he asked 46 times, just to be sure.

Finally it dawned on him, the list was an indication of pilot ability! Names at the bottom obviously meant novice players, so he should avoid those, and he didn't want to play with any of those cowardly people half way up. But those ones at the top, they were the cream. That was it, he should play with all the people who showed up near the top, because they were the best. GAN had played the game for 4 days now, and he figured he was getting pretty good. Time to form some sort of alliance with someone! Now, what to call it...most of the names had already been used. He wanted a Kushan armada, but it had to have a bad ass image, and also a color involved. He finally decided on Crazy Rebellious Aggressors Purple. As a icon to identify him as being part of a fleet, he inserted the initials in front of his Won ID. He felt a surge of pride as he one day entered Won.net as CRAP_GA_Newbie. Now the question was, how to find elite pilots for his new armada that was destined to shake Won.net to the core of its foundations.......

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