(Written by Viper, edited by Grand Admiral Newbie)

Page Five
- 'destroying the forum one post at a time', Sorak hated that.

<< By Viper >>

The Won.net head honcho had been worried for some time now about what had been happening on Won. There had been a lot of shouting (CAPS) and flooding and far too much swearing. People were being turned off by all this anger and conflict. This had not been the way he had envisaged online multiplayer gaming would be. He needed a plan, and fast. After browsing the Relic messageboards for some answers, it suddenly struck him. Sorak, the Relic moderator, was doing a fantastic job of subduing all unwelcome visitors to the message boards. He had been locking up irrelevant threads and deleting all the bad language, he had even taken posting abilities away from the worst offenders. This guy was amazing. Head honcho arranged a meeting with Sorak.

Won_H_Honcho> . so you see I want you to police the main lobby on Won and control the pests that seek to make it a place of disharmony.
Sorak> I understand, but what can I do ? I will have no power, it's not like the message boards where I can moderate posts. They'll just laugh in my face.
Won_H_Honcho> Aha, I thought you would ask. I shall bestow upon you, special privileges whereby you WILL be able to 'mute' people, to take away their chat ability. And more too . for the worst offenders you will be able to 'boot' them right off Won. They won't be able to play online until you lift their ban !!
Sorak> But how will they know I am not just another player?
Won_H_Honcho> You will have a + before your name to denote your power, from now on, young Sorak, you will be . a Regulator.
Sorak> Excellent, this all falls neatly into place in the grand scheme of things. Muhaha .. cough .. ahem ..
Won_H_Honcho> What was that?
Sorak> . er .. nothing.
Won_H_Honcho> hmmm, you should recruit deputies, train them and give them the same powers. Go to it, right away.
Sorak has left private chat

Sorak set about recruiting the roughest (squarest), toughest (fastest typers), most bad ass (most anal retentive) message board moderators he could find. He trained them as best he knew how, and then they broke onto Won and took the lobby by storm. They were successful, at first. Players were getting muted and booted at a rate of 10 an hour. The clean up operation was going well. However he couldn't ban people permanently and they would just return to clog up his beloved lobby with swearing and irrelevancies. Either that or they just used another ID. There was Burst_81, and Tetranova and that damn sno destroying the forum and now the lobby one post at a time. Things were getting worse again. He had locked up no end of threads with titles like 'Sorak - Illegal moderator?' and 'One word story - part 2' . it took him back to the old days and he cringed every time he thought about the RTS and Nut threads. These people were animals. He had had trouble with sno on the Relic boards, now he had dared to confront him on Won. Sorak need something more potent to clean away the people he hated so much. He needed something so powerful, that no-one could resist it.

Later that month.
+Dealwithme> Stop flooding, or I'll mute you all!
+Dealwithme> You there, stop making racist comments!
+Dealwithme> Fuck me? FUCK ... ME? You piece of shit!
+Dealwithme> Shut up, I don't like you.
+Sorak has joined room Training
+Sorak> Uhh, Deal man ... there's no one here.
+Dealwithme> I know, I'm practising.
+Sorak> Oh cool idea ... I've been standing in front of the mirror with my mouse in my pocket and my keyboard slung over my shoulder. I say "You wanna try flooding, shithead?" And then I pull my mouse out of my pocket like ... real quick, and I "pump" my keyboard like a shotgun.
+Dealwithme> I see you've frozen up the Relic boards, the language must be getting too bad.
+Sorak> Yeah, shame ... I like those forums, such a source of information ... but there's always someone trying to mess with me. I hate people messing with me. Like the other day . I was at the supermarket. There was one packet of cornflakes left and this old lady was reaching for it. I was like "Hey bitch, that's my god damn cereal!"
+Dealwithme> You go dude!
+Sorak> Anyway, the bitch said "Sorry" and walked away. I was like "WTF?" so I said. "Hey, don't you turn your back on me, crack whore".
+Dealwithme> Whoa man ... what did you do then ?
+Sork> Well ... she beat the shit out of me... but I filed charges man.
+Dealwithme> Bro ... you are a bad ass man.
+Sorak > yeah, I see myself as something of an Arnold Schwarzenegger figure. Anyhow, that's not why I came here. Listen, I have a plan ..

GAN stirred from sleep, today was most important, indeed it would be a historic moment for CRAP armada and newbiedom everywhere. Today marked the beginning of his revenge. He had already started the writing of Won Wars: The Newbie Strikes Back, and flicked happily through the pages. About a month ago Obi Wan Kenobi had emailed him (apparently reaching out through the force could only be done when the recipient could lick his left elbow. GAN had tried this many times and had almost been admitted into the local spastic ward). Obi Wan had instructed him to meet him in a secret place where they would discuss his revenge on the evil people of the Won main lobby. He had been told the main lobby would be just the beginning, the guinea pig for total online gaming domination. But the main lobby also had a special meaning to GAN, he would finally gain revenge on sno, the mocking bastard he had sworn to destroy. Donning his cloak (curtain) and flight helmet (bucket) GAN logged on and made his way to the rendezvous point...

+Sorak> Now, when the weapon enters, I want you all to be ready, it will only be a swift exposure, and therefore not permanently damaging .... Ahh ... he approaches
CRAP_GA_NEWBIE has joined private chat
CRAP_GA_NEWBIE> Good day, Obi Wan, my mentor
+Dealwithme> Obi wan? WTF ?
+Sorak > Shhhh!
CRAP_GA_NEWBIE> THE TAIIDAN SCUM OF THE WON LOBBY WILL ALL BE KILLED BY ME, THEY ARE BASTARDS!!!!!!
+Feelmywrath> Aaaaahh ..... it's ... too ...... stupid ...
+Youareoutahere> Obi Wan? Star Wars? This dude is totally messed up, man.
CRAP_GA_NEWBIE> YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!!!
+Dyntheos> Wha . ?
+Sorak> That's enough Newbie, anger is the way of the darkside.
+Dealwithme> In that case, he's one dark motherfucker ...
+Sorak> I have called you here for a reason, Newbie. I need your help to ..
CRAP_GA_NEWBIE> HAIL THE APPLIANCE!!
+Dealwithme> Appliance? Shouldn't that be 'Hail the Alliance' ?
+Dyntheos> Erm ..
+Sorak> Damnit, only one thing for it ...
CRAP_GA_NEWBIE> FUCK YOU!!!, I HATE YOU AL ...
+CRAP_GA_NEWBIE has left private chat
+Feelmywrath> He's . he's . it's inhuman!
+Sorak> I was forced to boot him, as you can see ... his power is great, but flawed. I managed to bestow upon him the mark of the Regulator just before he exited. We achieved our goal, but I fear we did not harness him properly. This could be dangerous.
+Dyntheos> I'm not sure I like this, you got me here under false pretences. You can keep your +
+Sorak> Dyntheos !!
+Dyntheos has left private chat
+Sorak> Damnit, he could spoil the whole thing. Track him down !!!

Will Dyntheos expose +Sorak's evil plan in time? Are the members of Won main lobby safe from GAN? Does GAN even know he's become a Regulator ?? What exactly was Dyntheos doing in chat with Sorak? All will be revealed.

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