(Written by Viper, edited by Grand Admiral Newbie)

Page Nine

U HAVE NO HONOR!!

<< By Viper >>

GAN had regained the respect and admiration of the newbie community, but he needed a vehicle with which to gather his newbies together. He needed a meeting place, a .... council.

As ever, GAN researched the ideas surrounding his projects thoroughly, he viewed many high brow political websites including "Why Cuba sucks and the US rules" and "We should fuckin' Nuke Iraq". Of course, these could be improved on greatly by GAN, for he was all-powerful. After some hours of information gathering, GAN decided that he would make his council a focal point, a link to all parts of the Online Gaming Community. First things first, he had to think of a name.

The ‘Hub Of Many Organisations’ was taking shape nicely. GAN had decided that although democracy looked like a good thing, where everyone has an equal say, the Council would benefit from "Strong leadership" Therefore he set himself up as Crazy Rebellious Aggressor Purple’s Chief Hub Expert, With Intelligent Newbie Guidance. Now that he was officially a CRAP CHEWING HOMO, GAN thought a new uniform was in order ...

CRAP_HOMO_GAN has joined room #2
sno> BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> A NEW DAWN HAS RISEN
Calaban> So it seems, you've converted to being King of the chocolate speedway
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> I’LL IGNORE YOUR PUERILE COMMENTS, CARAVAN !!
Calaban> Hmm, there’s a new one … Caravan !!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> WON NET NEEDS A COUNCIL TO ORGANISE EVENTS AND REGULATE ARMADAS AND CLANS.
sno> It does?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> OF COURSE. THINGS NEED TO BE REGULATED.
SNO> They do?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> YES! SO WE CAN HAVE TOURNAMENTS AND ORGANISE WARS!
sno> You mean like this one?
sno> ******** 2v2 tournament --- WON net Endorsed ---- http://fly/to.sno **********
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> STOP IT!!
Tetranova> And Cases Ladder does nicely too.
Calaban> Besides, the "council" will just be a mandate for your crap ideas GAN.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> FOOLS! YOU CANNOT SEE HOW WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER AND MAKE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL?
Burst_81> I am NOT going to "come to together" with anyone who has "homo" in his name.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> YOU BASTARD!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!
Cadfan> Finally, familiar territory.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> I HAVE DECIDED TO APPOINT MYSELF AS HEAD OF THE NEW COUNCIL
Packrat> Oh, big fuckin' surprise there.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> TO MAKE SURE THE COUNCIL DOESN'T FILL UP WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T AGREE WITH ME I HAVE ALSO PLACED "CRAP_PUPPET" ON THE COUNCIL. AND I WILL NOT ADMIT ANY TROUBLEMAKERS!
Cadfan> Define "troublemakers"
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> TROUBLEMAKERS INCLUDE PEOPLE LIKE YOU, EVIL BASTARD Cadfan, AND ANYONE I DON'T LIKE.
sno> So ... the council will consist of 2 members?

*pause*

CRAP_HOMO_GAN> U HAVE NO HONOR!
Tetranova> Will people with "no honor" be allowed on the council?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> NO, THEY ARE ALL GAY AND WILL BE SHOT!!
Athexx> So .. we've gone from bringing WON.net closer together to mass genocide?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> I WILL IGNORE YOUR PETTY JEALOUSY AND CONTINUE TO EXPLAIN ABOUT THE COUNCIL.
Wulfus> Please do, I could use a laugh.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> IT WILL CONSIST OF 2 CHAMBERS!!
Dyntheos> Why?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> HA! FOOL! ALL COUNCILS HAVE 2 CHAMBERS!
Dyntheos> Yeah, but why is that?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> BECAUSE FOOL, ERRR .... YOU BASTARD, I HATE YOU!
Dyntheos> You don't know do you?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> ONE CHAMBER MAKES THE LAWS AND THE OTHER SMALLER CHAMBER APPROVES THEM!
Cadfan> So in other words, the smaller chamber holds all the power, even though it is the least democratic.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> YES, BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE THE MORE POWERFUL CHAMBER IS A QUANGO BENT TO MY WILL !!
Cadfan> Oh, point conceded there then ....
Athexx> Ok, so the "Council" is basically a powerless thing that can't make any decision you don't like, and the process is so drawn out and fraught with time constraints that it won't work in an online environment.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> ERRRR … NO!!
Athexx> So what saves the council from those issues?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> U HAVE NO HONOR!!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> U HAVE NO HONOR!!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> U HAVE NO HONOR!!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> U HAVE NO HONOR!!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> U HAVE NO HONOR!!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN has left room #2

GAN realised that he wouldn't get anyone with half a clue onto his council, so instead he decided to fill it up with the ever-ambitious leaders of newbie armadas and whatever "I could have been a congressman" wannabes he could find. Rather than addressing any key issues at all they all argued over the running of the council. And since they all came online at different times, the entire council could never meet at the same time. None of this deterred GAN, because he was going to do what he wanted anyway. The council finally agreed upon a motion that GAN liked "Any clan or player that was rude to another would be thrown out of the organised events". GAN relished the opportunity to drop this bombshell on those fags in the WON.net main lobby, they way they always insulted people, fucking bastards.

CRAP_HOMO_GAN has joined room #2
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> NEW COUNCIL RULING !!! ANY PLAYER OR CLAN THAT IS RUDE TO ANOTHER PLAYER WILL BE BANNED FROM THE EVENTS ORGANISED BY THE COUNCIL !!
Shin> Oh, has the council organised any events?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> NO! AND FOR YOUR IMPERTINENCE YOU ARE NOW BANNED!!!
Shin> hey!
Zorg33_BDU> He's banned from all non-existent events then?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> SHUT UP! YOU ARE BANNED!!
Zorg33_BDU> So ... BDU is banned?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> YES, AHAHA! YOU MOCKED ME, AND NOW YOU ARE ALL BANNED!, BANNNNEEEDD!!!
Zorg33_BDU has left room #2
Zorg33_UDB has joined room #2
Zorg33_UDB > Hey, can UDB be on the council and in the next event?
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> OF COURSE!! WE WELCOME ALL NEW CLANS !!
Shin> ROFL
Destroyer_BDU> Basically, there's no way you can legislate who takes part in events, because all they need to do is register with a different name.
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!
Shin> Nope, but then, neither is a council where 5 votes are all that counts
CRAP_HOMO_GAN> I FUCKING HATE YOU, I WANT MY MOM!
CRAP_HOMO_GAN has left room #2

Another scheme of GAN's down the plughole ... but ... there will be more.

...The End...until next part